tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7545342727737354254.post4980548836165799216..comments2013-02-07T13:44:07.649-08:00Comments on DragonlordsThoughts: The Mage ( A Prologue )dragonlord3564http://www.blogger.com/profile/12560939912406871029noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7545342727737354254.post-86215692577882910122013-02-07T13:44:07.649-08:002013-02-07T13:44:07.649-08:00Thank you for you're feedbak. The "echo&q...Thank you for you're feedbak. The "echo" moment? Um... where was that? I'll work on these things and hopefully improve my writing.dragonlord3564https://www.blogger.com/profile/12560939912406871029noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7545342727737354254.post-32051770730624257942013-02-07T13:40:28.887-08:002013-02-07T13:40:28.887-08:00Thank you for your feedback. I'll work on thes...Thank you for your feedback. I'll work on these things.dragonlord3564https://www.blogger.com/profile/12560939912406871029noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7545342727737354254.post-89673113414637958072013-02-06T18:52:40.300-08:002013-02-06T18:52:40.300-08:00William stated it well. The formatting can get a b...William stated it well. The formatting can get a bit weird. And in addition to what has been addressed, I'd like to recommend reading aloud. It can help locate those "echo" moments where there might be a bit extra repetition that can be consolidated or referred to in a different way<br /><br />Good start and I like this blog background.Angela Brownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03324366495151363782noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7545342727737354254.post-20148815943154554252013-02-06T15:42:57.888-08:002013-02-06T15:42:57.888-08:00One of the problems in transferring from a doc int...One of the problems in transferring from a doc into a blog like this is the formatting can get a bit wonky...<br /><br />Quotation marks are needed on all dialogue, and you also need to have quotation tags (ie he said, she told, she asked), particularly when there's a third person in the equation. And some of the dialogue, around the middle, when they're talking about the age of the children, tends to get a bit expository. William Kendallhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00331324250821836822noreply@blogger.com