Wednesday, February 6, 2013

The Mage ( A Prologue )

This is the prologue to the book I'm writing. Please send me a short review on the quality of the writing and if you have any suggestions on how I can fix any mistakes I'd appriciate it. Thank you for your time.

  The Mage (A Prologue)

   By F. A. Stigile Jr.



Knock, knock, knock.

Sam, could you get that, I’m in the kitchen. Sam?! Where is that man? Kaila walks to the door while she wipes her hands on her apron. The knocking starts again,

I’m coming; I’m coming just hold your pants on.

Kaila opens the door and sees an elderly man with a long white beard. Ahh, Elder Andros come in, come in. can I got you a cup of rose hip tea? Yes please Kaila and how are you and Samuel doing?

We’re doing fine, and you?

Not to well I’m afraid I’ve just come from the Hall of the Elders.

The Hall of Elders? I didn’t hear about a meeting tonight.

Yes, well… it was a special meeting. Only the Elders of the Archives were there.

The elders of the Archives? Then that means that you have heard some news from one of the seekers?

Yes we have had some news I’m afraid.

Bad news it would seem. We had better wait for Samuel to come back, he should be up in a moment, it's almost tea time. He's been down in the workroom a lot lately.

He has? What has he been keeping him so busy lately?

Samuel says that the scrolls must be a hiding a clue to find where and when the chosen one is to be found and he’s been looking for the unwritten hints into finding the chosen ones lineage. He says that the ancient ones knew how to hide things in their writings.

Samuel walks into the room and says, Kaila, have you been talking about me again?

Of course I have dear, what else is there to talk about?

Well, he chuckles, there are always our two beautiful little girls that are doing splendidly in the academy.

Hello, Elder Andros, I see that Kaila has gotten you some of her rose hip tea. Would you like something special to add to it? I have some very nice Cloudberry brandy that goes quite well with it.

Cloudberry brandy? Yes, that does sound nice. Where ever did you get it?

When they were in season last year I made it a point to harvest as much as Kaila and I could find This time next year we should have a whole crop in our northern fields.

What are you doing? Taking up farming now?

No, not at all. I’m just adding to my vineyard, expanding you could say. Since the last pressing was so prosperous and in so much demand I thought that in few years there would be some amazing pressings.

Ah, that brings me back to the reason why I have come to see you. We have gotten some news about the seekers and it’s not good. There is only one group left.

One group? But there were fifteen groups sent out just five years ago. Kaila exclaims.

Now Kaila, they knew that it was dangerous when they volunteered to find the chosen one. I have the great responsibility to ask for more volunteers. That is why I have come to see you and Samuel. I would like you both to volunteer.

Us? Us? Why do you want us to volunteer for this? We still have young children. Gabrielle is fifteen and Amanda is a year younger than her. There’s still so much we have to teach them. Kaila says.

Kaila, others have been asked also. Not just the two of you, others with children. I know, when we first sent out seekers, they were young people, without any children, but times have changed. We have been sending seekers out for five hundred years and there are fewer and fewer people believe that he will ever be found or that he exisit at all. Not to mention willing to leave their homes and lively hoods to go to the other world to look for him. No Kaila, we, the elders of the archives has been secretly sending select small groups, couples to tell the truth, to find the chosen one. They set up households in the other realm and try to find out everything they can about the chosen one and where he or she is. They get jobs and blend in to their communities; they have even started new families while they are there.

So you want us to take Gabrielle and Rebecca on this mission? Kaila asks. Possibly to even die? They must finish their training here. They have just started their advanced studies.

The Elders will take care of any and all financial needs they will have. We will give them the best of everything. We have done this for the other parents that we sent out that had children. Though there have only been a few.


Kaila, Samuel says looking deep into his wife's eyes, we must do this. This is why I have been studying the scrolls so intently. I knew it would come to this. We will have a good life in the other realm and our girls will; they will become adepts of the highest caliber and when they have passed their finals they can join us.

Samuel, you’re not just telling me this, just to make me feel good about going are you?

No, my darling, I’m not. The girls will be fine, of that I’m sure. for them it will be a few years of intense studying, but for us it will be about nine years.

Elder Andros, how long do we have to give the elders an answer?

We’d like to know by the end of the week. As Samuel has just stated, time runs differently between our realms.

Samuel looks at his wife, is that good enough for you? We have a week to make up our minds and to get everything in order.

Yes, I think that will suffice. At least I’m not being rushed into it. Much.

Ok, Elder Andros, by the end of the week. But I need access to all of the original scrolls that the Elders have. That doesn’t mean that we’re going, but if anything, I might be able to find something that others have missed. I just need to see the originals.

That, we can do for you Samuel. I hope that you do find something we all have missed. I’ll also have copies of them for you to take with you. Even copies of all of the notes and manuscripts from those that went before you. The Elders will give you both all the help that we can.

                                                          *    *    *    *    *

Are you sure this is the right family?

Yes, from what we found in the scrolls and the information that we have gathered since coming here this is the only family that it sould be.

But I can’t understand it, they‘re normal folk. They don’t have any magical abilities at all.

It may be that their powers haven't fully developed yet. but I'm sure that this is the right family.

What are we suppose to do? Watch them the rest of our lives?

If we have to my dear, then that is what we must do! If we don’t find the one that has been prophesized then the 'others' will, and you know what that means to these people and to our own.

Yes, the 'others' will enslave us all and destroy those that oppose them, then the worlds will be thrown into total chaos while they are being sucked dry.

We have been lucky in finding them as fast as we have. We were old when we were sent on this mission. We are also fortunate that we have lived this long. The others that were sent on this mission met unfortunate fates.

Who should we get to take our places?

That is not for us to decide. When the time comes for that, the Elders will find someone.

We must get back to the elders and tell them what we have found out. At least we can tell them that we found the right family.

This is where I'm planning to end the prologue. I know it seems like, or I should add a little more to this. Chapter One will open in their world with their girls. I hope those taking the time to read this will leave comment on how it is written and nit pick it to death. Just don't be cruel, if something is wrong with it, I want to hear about it. Okay, I'm pushing enter and let what I have written travel the electronic waves, hopefully to find those that will enjoy what I wrote.




  1. One of the problems in transferring from a doc into a blog like this is the formatting can get a bit wonky...

    Quotation marks are needed on all dialogue, and you also need to have quotation tags (ie he said, she told, she asked), particularly when there's a third person in the equation. And some of the dialogue, around the middle, when they're talking about the age of the children, tends to get a bit expository.

    1. Thank you for your feedback. I'll work on these things.

  2. William stated it well. The formatting can get a bit weird. And in addition to what has been addressed, I'd like to recommend reading aloud. It can help locate those "echo" moments where there might be a bit extra repetition that can be consolidated or referred to in a different way

    Good start and I like this blog background.

    1. Thank you for you're feedbak. The "echo" moment? Um... where was that? I'll work on these things and hopefully improve my writing.